Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"Welcome to Hellton"

So yeah it's fuckin' hot up here in Seattle. Hotter then it has ever been. Seriously. It got over 102 today and it hasn't been that hot since 1941. My Arizona friends point and laugh at us up here. I don't mind. They're just jealous we only have to put with this shit for a week, maybe less. I moved out of Arizona primarily to avoid summers like this.

I want my rain, damn you!!! *shakes fist towards the sky*


I'm getting more intolerant of certain kinds of human behavior. I bet you didn't think I could but there it is. Humans acting even more ridiculous and self-centered.

Take driving while on a cell phone and/or texting. Stop that! Just fuckin' stop it! It's a secondary offense here, which is so lame it's not worth the paper it was put on. It should be a first offense, plain and simple.

Another habit of humans that's starting to really piss me off, well maybe not starting but all the same, crossing against a light or jaywalking just makes me scowl. And I really hate to scowl. It's not good for the forehead.

I can't imagine what the big ass rush is that you can't just stand for 30-90 seconds and wait your turn to cross the street. That damn Starbucks will still be there when it happens. Or jaywalking only to wind up at a street corner where the nice DOT people have painted you a divine crosswalk! Oh looky there, big bold lines to help you know where to be. *slaps forehead*


I'm a Twitterholic and I don't give a damn who knows it. I can now Twitter from my cell, which is perfect when I see something excellent or lame to share, which is often. I just need to sync up to my flickr account now. I can send cell phone pictures to my Twitpic account but sending images to my flickr account might get more visibility. I dunno really but I'm willing to give it a shot.


Damn! More under-boob sweat! That's my cue to remove myself from here and go outside while there's a breeze.

Monday, May 18, 2009

"Other than that, I'm perfect."

The new job is going really well. My first month there went by extremely quick as does most days. Not today though. Today I'm home with the child who was up very late being sick. I think we can safely state and claim that her drinking mass quantities of orange juice is just not a good thing ... for anyone. Needless to say, she'll never eat another pot pie in her life. This is sad to me as pot pies are quite damn delicious. But then I may never eat one again for a while at least. I did have to clean up.

Ian helped too. This was very helpful. And he helped without really need to being asked, just pointed in the right direction. Like taking out the sheet to hose off, and driving to Walgreens at 1am to buy anti-nausea medicine. All done without whining or guilt, and he stayed up with us while we watched BOLT until almost 4am. The child hadn't puked in a an hour, I had been giving her a dose of anti-nausea after each upchuck, and the movie was over so it seemed a damn fine time to try and get some sleep. She slept hard, the whole time on the couch. She awoke around 9:30am rearing to go. Her little brow furroughed as she worried aloud about being late for school. I told her not to worry. I had called the school, and the child care, and my work when we were up at 1am and 3am. No school for her and no work for Ian and I.

I'm still feeling really dead on my feet. Good thing I'm sitting! Nyuck Nyuck! *snort*

Oh geez, see that? I'm too punchy for this.

Bowie's in space.

2009 is an interesting year so far. I got a fulltime job, our dog died, our landlords want to move back into the rental so we have to move by July 1st, the child's been pukey sick twice this year (seriously that never happens!). The wonders of the world are still out there.

As I listen to a live spacewalk from the space shuttle Atlantis and realize that up in space these guys are flaoting around a shuttle, fixing a giant camera, basically I'm so grateful to appreciate what's going on. Some of the best space images have been taken by the Hubble telescope. A never ending expansion of space yet going into the past? Jump back!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

"Judo chop!"

Well holy shit. Its been over a month since Fergus died and I haven't posted at all. Not that it matters. I'm not pandering to an audience. No one knows I exist so its okay. No one's keeping track of me, no one knows I'm alive so disappearing for weeks on end is okay. That is to say disappearing from the internet is not a big deal. No one notices or gives a fuck. I deactivated my Facebook account and haven't heard fuckall from those that friended me. Hehheh.

Well I can bitch and bitch but what's the point? Honestly.

The child and I went out today. We saw a movie and shopped a bit. Though I'm not financial able to shop a bit there's always the credit cards. I can die happy knowing my credit card debt can't be passed onto the child. In the meantime I will raise and interact with my child as I see fit. I will not cow to "traditional" norms and be a fucking douchebag tighty-whitey mom with teased bangs and a family goddamn van.


Went out tonight with a good friend, I should know I really only a few good friends. We saw Tricky perform tonight and it was brilliant. It was far better then I hoped for, not just the music but the crowd too. See I hate crowds. I'm totally put off by large groups of people but I know that if I'm going to go out and enjoy something I like then I have to put up with the masses.


I'm just rambling at this point. I'm so tired. Up later then I've been in a long while. Polluting my brain with the Sex and the City movie.

If you are reading this thank you. And good night.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

R.I.P Fergus McKenzie

I normally title my posts with lines from TV shows, movies, and songs, but today is different. Today is the first time in nearly 11 years I sit in my home totally and completely alone because the family dog died yesterday. I'm still of the mindset to check on Fergus when I go upstairs but you know, he's not there. No, he's not on the couch curled into a little fluffy, blonde ball. And he's not on the brown chair sprawled. And his not at my feet under the computer desk letting out noxious farts. Okay, I guess I can't honestly say I miss his farts, but I miss him damnit.

Fucking diabetes got the best of him and for the last several days his blood sugar has been dropping resulting in not eating, not peeing, and not doing anything but sleeping. Sunday night he had some shakes that I had never seen before and so Monday morning my mom called the vet and I dropped him off there around 9am. As I left work to catch a bus downtown to celebrate a birthday, my mom called to tell me she was going to the vet because in the best interest of the dog he was being put down.

Fergus was the ultimate super trooper dog. He survivied ACL surgery and gallstone surgery (that resulted in over 60 stones being removed) that left a 12 inch incision scar on his already wee belly. His internal sutures from the gallstone surgery tore out and he had to be opened up again, replacing the busted sutures with ones for dogs upwards to 100 pounds. Then his diabetes happened and he went blind practically over night. But NONE of this ever daunted the little guy from loving us simple humans. The mental and phsyical strength that dog had amazed me then and still amazes me today as I type this.

Fergus was not the first dog we've owned that has died, but it is the first time that we've had an animal put to sleep. Back in Arizona, when our dogs died I was never home for it and usually they just died of old age and just never woke up the next day. Being in the vet's office yesterday, with my mom, watching the vet gently tell us how it happens and then to watch it happen was quietly intense. I was overcome with so much sadness it really surprised me. I watched a family member die yesterday and it will forever stay with me.

Good night, sweet prince. Thank you for your love and protection.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Bad guy can't win. It's a morality tale."

I took the child to a movie today. A movie's she been harrassing me to see for weeks, though it only started on Friday the 13th. Funny thing, the movie is of the same title as it's release date.

Yes, I took the child to see Friday the 13th. The dialogue wasn't totally inane, but there was a lot of boobs from the same people. It reminded me of an episode of XPlay when Adam Sessler's rattling off game titles he wants to see die. One game is about scantily clad, poorly animated women with robust breasts jumping around playing volley ball. The movie even had a scene of a topless girl water skiing, well boarding. The violence really was far less outrageous then I predicted and there was some humor that made me giggle even more so for its placement in a slasher film.

Prior to all this, we had lunch and bought cupcakes to have in the movies. When packaging up our said cupcakes, I asked the cupcake gal to box them individually so they would fit inside my purse better. And they did! Genius! So there we were, the child and I, sitting in the last row, noshing on tasty cupcakes watching a slasher flick. We whispered back and forth to each other about how one scene was from the first Friday the 13th, and how a character looked like another character from Part 2 in which he gets a machete in the head, oh and! Lookie here, this guy got it in the head too! HAHAHAHAHA! We had a blast!

And it was payday too!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

"I was down on a frown when the messenger brought me a letter."

Sizzle Says has made my day! Yesterday she posted a list of ten things she loves that start with the letter R. She went on to describe some fabulous stuff and at the end she asked if anyone was up to the same challenge. Always wanting to be included as much as possible I went for it and Sizzle obliged! Yay us!

I got the letter N,which at first pleased me beyond the dog's tolerance for adult human giggling. But then I panicked. The letter N? Good grief!

Okay, I'm already over thinking this task because this morning upon waiting to get my morning stuff done (wake the child, feed the child, urge the child to get dressed, as well as feeding and clothing myself, make the child's lunch, take her to morning child care, dash back to work because I left with the cash box key last night) I started thinking of what to title my post, provided I was able to engage in the letter game. After I dropped McKenzie off and headed north on Market St. Neil Young came on the car stereo (I was driving my mom's car) and there you have my title. But was I going to play? YES! Thank you, Sizzle.

Ten things that start with the letter N that I love.

1. Neighborhood - I really enjoy the neighborhood we live in. It's close to the child's school and close to my work, just 20-25 minutes walking distance from downtown Ballard. The proximity to all things Seattle is very good, I'd even say we're centrally located, with easy access to 99. The house we rent is on a hillside so we have a fantastic view of the Olympic Mts.

2. Naan - Particularly the garlic naan, sometimes the spinach stuffed naan. But just in general naan. So light and fluffy yet hearty and warm. Such a good thing on its own too!

3. Naval - Specifically the child's belly button. She's got an outy inside in inny. It's so cute!

4. Nebulas - A totally sweet gathering of cosmic gases, proof the unverse is ever growing and evolving.

5. Noodles - Not pad thai noodles, no no, can't stand those, but linguini noodles fo' sho'! And Ramen noodles too. You can do a lot to a simple cup of noodles that transcends their ordinary purpose. Plus Ramen noodles come in a plethora of flavors and its cheap, which is good for this day and age.

6. Northwest - The pacific northwest has held a special place in my heart since first visiting my mom at Christmas in 1995. I stole away to Seattle from horrid, dreadful Tucson a few more times before I gave into the want and need to move here. I am SO glad my mom moved up here so I could follow. You get it all up here: rain, sun, wind, heat, chill, sea air, arid desserts. Everything! Plus I've met some fabulous people living up here who are like minded in that they are flexible, open-minded, easy going, yet smart and funny.

7. Number 9 - Myyyyy favorite and lucky number. In its purest form of just 9 this is a powerful by product of the magical number 3. Yet 19, 29, etc are just as awesome! I tend to pick numbers with 9 in the when I play lotteries. Not that this strategy has led me to a win but I like it. The Beatles song might have had something to do it with it. I'd listened to the White Album, on vinyl, a lot as a kid.

8. The Nightmare Before Christmas - This is such a brilliant and fantastic dark fairytale. Tim Burton is a child of gloominess and for that I shall always be a fan of his. To create such a lovely story about responsibility and finding yourself for a specific audience that can relate to being different moved me so when I first saw this movie 15 years ago.

9. Nerdist - Chris Hardwick is a funny, funny man. His posts are full of wit, vulgarities and violence. Okay, not so much violence but it sounded good when I typed it. I first caught Chris Hardwick on G4's Attack of the Show leading a Gadget Pron segment. He wore an argygle sweater vest with a tie. My geek heart swooned.

10. Netflix - It took me a long time to get on the bandwagon for this practical site. I'm not one to follow the hype on anything so it took a while for it to die down and then Netflix looked appealing. I am glad that I finally drank the Netflix kool aid. We've got In Bruges to watch tonight.

Okay, that was way harder then first thought of, but damn it was fun!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"Are you there, God? It's me ..."

As a child, starting around 6 years old, I thought I had a relationship with God. At the time I didn't have a male power figure in my life and so I would defer my personal conversations to God. To me it seemed natural to speak aloud when I was by myself and know that at least someone was listening. For the longest time I thought it was God.

My favorite place to talk to God was to sit on the roof of the trailer I lived in and marvel at the vastness of land that surrounded me. If at night, I'd gaze at the stars and dream to be among them. As I got older I came to realize an emptiness within me, and though my mom had remarried and I had a stepdad I would still talk only to God about what truly upset me. But I felt hallow and abandoned, talking to God was unsatisfying because I came to discover that God wasn't there. He may be there for some people but he wasn't there for me.

My mom had been baptized as a child but we never went to church. I had to worm my way into someone else's trip to church if I wanted to go. I never expressed wanting to go to church to my mom, probably because I was kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions. My want to be in a church was due to my interest in the architecture. My trips overseas with my grandma always had me looking forward to the medieval churches and monk tower ruins.

When I learned about the Goddess I was mostly curious and spent time ruminating on this. The concept was new to me, that a power figure could be a woman was, yes, a new concept to me. It wasn't until I was 17 that when I thought about the Goddess, and even spoke about her to others that honor her, that the void where my soul felt like it should have been all those years was finally filled. I felt a warmth and light within myself and I believe it to be from the Goddess.

If you do not know of the Goddess, or don't believe in Her, that's okay. For me she is the natural way to self-expression and self-love. One does not 'worship' the Goddess, but honor her with thoughts and actions that are as peaceful and educated as possible. I do not judge your religious beliefs based on what I don't know. For you to worship God is fine with me. I'm happy you have a spiritual nature to your human nature. So please do me the same courtesy. If you vilify Her in the name of your God then you're being manipulated by fear of something you have no comprehension of.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

"Confessions of a Dangerous Mind."

As a parent I have times of internal struggle I'm never sure of how to resolve because sometimes the right action from me would be to punch someone's face. As the mother of an only child, and as an only child myself, I have a tendency to project my fears and doubt into a scenario involving my child. And she's sooooooooooo my child. You know the phrase "chip off the ol' block"? Well that's the child. Mini me is an understatement. So being different is just who we are ... who she is. And for all the child's gregarious manner is peppered with moments of shouting "I like pie!" she's still a good kid. It shouldn't matter that she's into sharks, Family Guy, and anything Japanese. She's not a wishy-washy kid. When you ask her a question she'll answer. There's none of that weak shoulder shrugging or mumbled "I dunno."

I try not to tell the child about the prejudice she's experiencing on a near daily basis from her fellow students, that they're all just moronic asses in elementary who say whatever they want and have no idea of how to be an individual and only crave acceptance ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I can't continue that crap because I don't feel ALL children are like that. And children that are like that? Well they only have their parents to blame.

The child has this fellow 3rd grader that she likens to a friend. The child doesn't whine for playdates, and why are they still called play dates when the kids are 9? But still when it comes to the child's freetime she doesn't EVER suggest kids she'd like to play with. In fact, she's not that interested in the youngest kids at childcare like she use to be. The child use to go out of her way to hang out in the preschool area, and even participated in the leadership program where she taught art to the 3-4 yr. olds. These days though, the child isn't that enamored with youth anymore. She finds the children in her elementary to be rude. She's been sexually harrassed and her life threatened by boys, so of course when she says she loathes boys then I understand. The excuse other adults give the child about such hideous behavior is just that they're kids and they don't mean it. Oh they don't mean it? Well that's a relief. So I'll condone my child to behave in that same manner too simply because she doesn't mean it? Fuck that.

Back to the fellow 3rd grader who has a birthday coming up. The child mentioned that her "friend" was having a sleepover but the child wasn't sure she was invited because initially the birthday girl was only allowed to invite 3 girls. If the child were to be invited to the sleepover she'd have to not "spaz out". Then last night the child told me the bithday girl is having a regular party because if the child was to attend then there could be no sleepover. However, the child told Ian that if the birthday girl wanted more then 3 people over then the sleepover wouldn't happen. Understand that I'm confused. Is my child banned from a sleepover? Is my child even invited to this birthday party which is supposed to happen this coming Saturday?

I feel compelled to just call the parents up and in my most gracious customer service voice (because I do have a good one) and ask if McKenzie is invited or not.