Don't Get Lost in Heaven

Unempolyment is not it's cracked up to be. Some people do this for a living, like my ex. But I have ethical issues while applying and while using government funds to help me get by. And of course no surprise the government feels the same way about me, well sort of. I'm not allowed to ask the government to come down to a center and spend 3 hours being lectured on why they can't seem to govern after all it's a government. I'm talking about going to a mandatory workshop for employment security, where I have to present proof I've been job searching. I've got an Aug. 7 appointment which has lit a fire under my job searching ass. I've already got 4 submissions so far this week. And I signed up with a recruiting agency, but that's only yielded one interview.

So in the meantime, I remain positive as possible by being a productive member of my family. Speaking of which I'm doing laundry and need to get myself to the grocery store sooner then later today. And I'm waiting to get a call back from the lady at the recruitment agency, who called when I first started typing this. I have since, obviously, called her back only to leave her a message. She's from the temp side of the agency but I'm starting to freak out about being jobless so if it pays ... I'm in. Damn! I hate being so easy!

It's a nice day for a white wedding.

Though my dress will be blue and today's not the actual day. I am, however, going for my dress fitting today, which is sort of surreal hence me asking along a few good friends. I need to remember my strapless bra and my shoes (which are way cut slip-ons with a nice, shiny silver buckle on the toe area, and a blue Delft foral china pattern).

My first wedding had me two weeks shy of being due and so my dress options were drastically limited. I wound up with this real pretty, flowy white dress with large purple flowers on it. I was barefoot with braids and flowers in my hair. My marriage partner at that time chose to wear a kilt. We looked like two people meant for two different weddings, and uh, yeah in retrospect ... it was so true.

Take this job and shove it!

I've got an interview on Thursday with a construction company. It's an accounts payable position with decent pay, or so they told me. The job description had a lower annual salary listed on it, but hey I'm out of work I shouldn't be picky right?

Wrong.

And it's not the pay I should be picky about, it's the organization. And it's the people who would manage me that I'm going to be picky about.

I've gotten to a point that I'm not willing to compromise for nothing anymore. I'm aware of courtesy and a commonality that co-workers and managment share but I'm not willing to be the ONLY participant to modify their behavior to suit the situation or the person of authority. I know it sounds arrogant, and trust me I've thought about this for a long time, but I'm not arrogant. I'm fed up. I'm done taking the piss for assholes who don't like me for me. I'm not an ass-kisser ... well okay, I am but I kiss ass by working hard and being a great employee. I get fuck all for that, lemme tell ya.

So I'm holding out for a job that will provide me the salary I'm accustomed to (more or less), but mostly I'm going to hold out for THE job ... THE job that will employ me now and not make me hate humanity anymore then I already do.

After my limited stint in the corporate arena, I've concluded that I deplore large companies that relegate their employees to just faces on a massive staff list. Those people are better then that and deserve more. Like me. :o)

Bodies are for hookers and fat people.

I finally broke out the Wii fit yesterday. I'm 53 in Wii years. That would be a 17 year difference, lovely.

I proceeded to do 32 minutes of various Wii exercises. The hula hoop exercise I'm starting to feel in the right side of my abs. I was pretty good at the ski jump. I need to work on my balance says my vitural trainer, which is an eerie mannequin-like figure on the screen with a ... ponytail.

Ugh! I was doing fine yesterday, trying to keep my balance on that board and then I saw it. I saw the weird protrusion from the back of the virtual trainer's head. I rolled my eyes. Rolling my eyes seems to be directly linked to my balance. I merely stumbled but c'mon! A ponytail?! That's a joke. I'm not sure why it bothers me, but it does. Perhaps I have some suppressed memory of tiny ponytails on men, because I'm now thinking that in general when I'm out and about if I see a man with a tiny ponytail I want to rip it from their skull. But in a nice way.

I'm going to pick the female trainer next time and see what silly thing is sticking out from her virtual head.

Now I gotta cut loose!

Okay, feet intact and no weird fungal outbreak. In fact, the place was waaaaaaaaay better then I expected. I had some time to kill before leaving for the pedicure appointment so I looked it up on Yelp, mostly because map access is quicker for me. However, what took me a bit by surprise was the high number of negative Yelps this spa place had received. Low marks for customer service, ambiance, environment, sterile, hospital-like ... well you get the idea, and so did I.

But when I arrived I was greeted and had a comfy wicker chair to sit in while I waited. They also discounted my pedicure due to having my appointment rescheduled. I was floored. Appointments get cancelled and rescheduled all the time, all over the world. One is taking place right now. But to provide a discount for what I come to think of as a regular occurrence? Are these people mad? My $56 signature pedicure was marked down to $39. Oh now, you're paying attention?

The young, tiny woman who gave me the pedicure was super skilled and talkative, but not gabby or annoying. I sat in a giant, avocado green plush, vinyl chair with my feet resting in a nice warm foot soak tub. She clipped and snipped, filed and trimmed, sanded and swore ... okay she didn't swear, but she did sort of scold me for walking around barefoot outside. She was extra cute for that. She also massaged and lotioned, rubbed and soothed my feet with such care that I'm trying real hard to keep my word to her about walking barefoot.

Thanks for the gift card, Jen. I'm just sorry it took me so long to use it.

Don't be tellin' me about foot massages! I'm the foot fuckin' master!

I have these moments of sincere intentions which wind up making me look like an ass. Last summer I received a gift card for a spa here in Seattle, and promptly left it at my friend's house, where I received it. Once I had it, I tucked it away for safe keeping. The idea of actually calling up the place to make an appointment escaped me. I can be dense sometimes, not all the time, just sometimes.

After a few months of being securely tucked away I came across it and idiot that I am, I squirreled it away again. So yeah, left it behind, lost it twice.

So when I found it yesterday while cleaning I didn't hesitate to call up and make an appointment.

I initially had it for today at 12:45pm, but rescheduled for 2:45pm (the child's summer care put on a "performance" of Dr. Suess' The Sneeches). While at the child care, the spa called to reschedule me for 7:45pm tonight. Ooookay, so if you don't here from me it's because I've gone ape shit crazy and slaughtered the people at the spa because I have a feeling I'm going to show up and they've never heard of me.

Would you like fries with that?

Applying online for unemployment was eerily easily and I've been waiting for a scolding phone call from the office of employment security, but none came. I made my first weekly claim in a timely manner, also online, and that went different. Not so easy, but not tough.

There's a part about claiming pay in lieu of notice and I'm sure this meant the severance so I admited to that and even entered an amount, though I sort of made it up. Of course the system prompted me to call right away, which I did, and came across the nicest government worker ever. No, I'm serious.

I explained why I was calling and she was very friendly and chipper, hardly the kind of person that typically works for the state. She happily told me that I don't need to claim my severance, since it's a goodwill gesture from my previous employer. I asked her to repeat herself at least three more times, to which she did but not before giggling. She also stated that she was noting in my file (oh sweet hell, I've got a fuckin' file) that I called about the severance and that she (Beth ... or was it Bess?) told me that I did not have to claim it. FINALLY some goddamn good news for a change!

Of course on the flip side of that, the child and I were able to get rescheduled dental appointments for this month as my previous employer is dropping my coverage at the end of July and in that rescheduled cleaning it was discovered that the child lost a filing on one of her baby teeth. I hate hearing that, really I do. It's like solid evidence that I'm a shitty parent because my kid has cavities. I'd scream to the heavens and in a shouting manner draw out the name Kahn, but I won't. Even with severance I'm not typically able to toss out $152 all willy nilly like, but then my child's teeth aren't willy nilly are they? Of course they are baby teeth ...