Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sometimes It's Hard to be a Woman

4 days from this moment Ian and I will be married. I'm so excited. He is going to be a great husband, and dad. Though my mom still has some reservations, which brought on a firm discussion about Ian not being like my ex at all, or for that matter, Ian is not like most men or women. He's a work in progress, sure! But what man isn't?

I'm not sure why my mom should worry about me getting married for a second time when she herself has been in a second marriage for 28 years, though 13 years ago my mom moved away never to return. She should really get a divorce. But maybe she's scared to be considered a divorcee . . . again. Or maybe she clings to it as part of her identity, though she'd never admit it.

My mom's tough as nails and will chew you up with wit and genius sarcasm, but at the same time she's probably the most sensitive person I know. Even more sensitive then me. In fact, watching how she reacts to some topics and discussions has caused me to look at myself and react differently, resulting in not being highly sensitive.

I love my mom, no question of course, and it pains me while at the same time pisses me off how she's hobbled around for years now fearing surgery, or fearing losing her job, whatever her fear is I want it to show it's fuck-ugly face to me so I can bitch slap it and my mom can get on with doing what's right and more importantly what's necessary. She has a doctor's appointment (FINALLY!) this coming Thursday with an orthopedic surgeon and I bet he takes one look at her wee swollen feet and her x-ray clearly showing no tissue around the hip joint area he'll want to fix her right then and there. Well at the very least, it's what SHOULD happen.

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