Tuesday, August 07, 2012
What do you call people you hang out with but don't want to have sex with? Men.
Often throughtout my high school years, and my early adult years I was mistaken for being gay. Or maybe not mistaken, just rudely associated with being gay. I don't think being gay is wrong or bad. I think some people treating me different because they think I'm gay is rude and wrong. Let me clarify. I'm not gay. I've kissed a couple girls in my life time thus far, and even went so far to have a sexual experience with a girl that completely confirmed to me that I was indeed not gay. Much to that girl's chagrin. And my relief. I say my relief, because when you're confused about your sexuality, having the confusion being resolved is really quite freeing and liberating. I like boys. A lot. They are annoying, gross, sexy, handsome, smell good, smell bad, know-it-all, funny, clever, and nerdy things put on this world to vex those of us who are deeply interested in them. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22, mostly due to the fact that someone seeing me naked would kill any urge they might have in wanting to have sex with me. I never had a boyfriend in school, and I was never asked out. Turns out, I like sex and I'm pretty good at it. Sometimes the other person isn't so great at it, but I can usually let that slide as long as they have both our interests at heart, which they never did. Once I finally did have sex, I realized that even bad sex isn't as bad as I was thinking it could be. I was exploring my sexual prowess long after many had done their own exploring so putting up with a 20-something woman trying to figure out if you should be down lower or more to the right wasn't as appealing as it sounds. I mean, it was to me, but yeah, not to the guy trying to figure me out. I'm 40 now, and married to a really amazing man who has awesome facial hair and a wonderful ass. Everything else in between is masculine and sexy to me. Sometimes I feel like a giant, horny spaz when I see him and all I want to do is grab his ass and fondle his cock. Of course, he doesn't mind as long as I don't hurt his junk, which when one uses the word "spaz" tends to happen. I've gotten better though. My husband is my best friend, and I am his. We were friends long before we starting dating and having sex. Those elements seemed so natural as our relationship progressed into romance that I never felt awkward or uncomfortable. I've always been very comfortable having male friends. In fact, at times it seemed more natural to me to have more guy friends. Even today, I would feel more comfortable talking about the Mars Curiosity landing with guys then i would with women. I choose to talk about this with my husband, because the conversation will ultimately come around to sex. And that's okay too.