"It's not the years, it's the mileage."

I'm 39 now. And my body is starting to feel it. I have to stretch more often throughout the day, which means I'm bent over from the waist in my cubicle more then I really ought to be. This is only because I tend to get traffic into my cubicle when I'm in that position.

Now grant it, I'm in a cubicle so I might as well have my desk right out on the sidewalk. The foot traffic through the office is over the top for the most part, resulting in my incessant bitching about all the goddamn foot traffic. The office is chaotic, loud, and disruptive enough. And what's with the people who walk so hard and heavy you assume they're weekend military types?

However this past week was spectacularly, and very out of the norm, quiet. A lot of people were out, which is not that uncommon for the summertime. But this was really quiet, like eventually I was bothered and distracted by the quiet. I realized that I had become more accustomed to the noise and distruptions. And that annoyed me. Of course, I soon got over that and ate all the office stock of Twizzlers.

The licorice is fat free. I tell myself this everytime I unwrap one. I wish I could become more accustomed to working out. I get about 15 minutes into cardio/yoga moves and I'm bored. It doesn't hold my attention. I'm not committed enough to pay for this self abuse. I've worked out to Taebo. Yes, the ones with the Billy Blanks in inappropriate shorts. I couldn't help to think of the first time I saw David Bowie's crotch in Labyrinth. I was either 11 or twelve when that movie came out. I saw it four times.

But so working out doesn't hold my attention like David Bowie's junk once did. After I had McKenzie, that pregnancy gave me 60 pounds to work off, I started doing taebo. I lost 40 lbs. So I went back to the taebo a year or so ago, and I couldn't do more than 4 weeks of it. I try to put music or news on. Something I think my mind will at least be into, which it is, and since my mind is far stronger than my body, the so-called working out stops.

Exercise isn't working for me. Maybe cutting calories will. And it would... If I worked out. I really have to try. I'm sort of like building my body up for a space walk. Okay, not a space walk. Not even a trip to space. But something big for me. I need to get my body into proper working order to procreate. But that's a story for another time.

Pre-teens are a species of their own

McKenzie's 11, her friend that's over is 12. They are oddly fascinating creatures where one cannot stop saying "ohmygawd" and the other just laughs and says, "Hehheh, yeah." I'm worried their brains have receded and become unattached to the stem. I think I can actually here a slight sloshing sound from their heads when they move past me.

What have I unleashed upon the world?

Well now that I ask that question, I wonder, or I can't help to wonder, if this is the world's karma? Not like the planet itself, that's fine! It's the people that are fucked, as George Carlin so eloquently put it. No, no. I'm talking about the world of humans, mankind, the populace, those people. What if the children and future adults of today are the karmic renderings come to life of the world that is?

Okay, that was too solemn, even for me. Shake it off.

Who has to fart?!?

Rocket_Jaz's photostream

Rocket_Jaz's photostream on Flickr.

"Welcome to Hellton"

So yeah it's fuckin' hot up here in Seattle. Hotter then it has ever been. Seriously. It got over 102 today and it hasn't been that hot since 1941. My Arizona friends point and laugh at us up here. I don't mind. They're just jealous we only have to put with this shit for a week, maybe less. I moved out of Arizona primarily to avoid summers like this.

I want my rain, damn you!!! *shakes fist towards the sky*

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I'm getting more intolerant of certain kinds of human behavior. I bet you didn't think I could but there it is. Humans acting even more ridiculous and self-centered.

Take driving while on a cell phone and/or texting. Stop that! Just fuckin' stop it! It's a secondary offense here, which is so lame it's not worth the paper it was put on. It should be a first offense, plain and simple.

Another habit of humans that's starting to really piss me off, well maybe not starting but all the same, crossing against a light or jaywalking just makes me scowl. And I really hate to scowl. It's not good for the forehead.

I can't imagine what the big ass rush is that you can't just stand for 30-90 seconds and wait your turn to cross the street. That damn Starbucks will still be there when it happens. Or jaywalking only to wind up at a street corner where the nice DOT people have painted you a divine crosswalk! Oh looky there, big bold lines to help you know where to be. *slaps forehead*

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I'm a Twitterholic and I don't give a damn who knows it. I can now Twitter from my cell, which is perfect when I see something excellent or lame to share, which is often. I just need to sync up to my flickr account now. I can send cell phone pictures to my Twitpic account but sending images to my flickr account might get more visibility. I dunno really but I'm willing to give it a shot.

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Damn! More under-boob sweat! That's my cue to remove myself from here and go outside while there's a breeze.

"Other than that, I'm perfect."

The new job is going really well. My first month there went by extremely quick as does most days. Not today though. Today I'm home with the child who was up very late being sick. I think we can safely state and claim that her drinking mass quantities of orange juice is just not a good thing ... for anyone. Needless to say, she'll never eat another pot pie in her life. This is sad to me as pot pies are quite damn delicious. But then I may never eat one again for a while at least. I did have to clean up.

Ian helped too. This was very helpful. And he helped without really need to being asked, just pointed in the right direction. Like taking out the sheet to hose off, and driving to Walgreens at 1am to buy anti-nausea medicine. All done without whining or guilt, and he stayed up with us while we watched BOLT until almost 4am. The child hadn't puked in a an hour, I had been giving her a dose of anti-nausea after each upchuck, and the movie was over so it seemed a damn fine time to try and get some sleep. She slept hard, the whole time on the couch. She awoke around 9:30am rearing to go. Her little brow furroughed as she worried aloud about being late for school. I told her not to worry. I had called the school, and the child care, and my work when we were up at 1am and 3am. No school for her and no work for Ian and I.

I'm still feeling really dead on my feet. Good thing I'm sitting! Nyuck Nyuck! *snort*

Oh geez, see that? I'm too punchy for this.

Bowie's in space.

2009 is an interesting year so far. I got a fulltime job, our dog died, our landlords want to move back into the rental so we have to move by July 1st, the child's been pukey sick twice this year (seriously that never happens!). The wonders of the world are still out there.

As I listen to a live spacewalk from the space shuttle Atlantis and realize that up in space these guys are flaoting around a shuttle, fixing a giant camera, basically I'm so grateful to appreciate what's going on. Some of the best space images have been taken by the Hubble telescope. A never ending expansion of space yet going into the past? Jump back!

"Judo chop!"

Well holy shit. Its been over a month since Fergus died and I haven't posted at all. Not that it matters. I'm not pandering to an audience. No one knows I exist so its okay. No one's keeping track of me, no one knows I'm alive so disappearing for weeks on end is okay. That is to say disappearing from the internet is not a big deal. No one notices or gives a fuck. I deactivated my Facebook account and haven't heard fuckall from those that friended me. Hehheh.

Well I can bitch and bitch but what's the point? Honestly.

The child and I went out today. We saw a movie and shopped a bit. Though I'm not financial able to shop a bit there's always the credit cards. I can die happy knowing my credit card debt can't be passed onto the child. In the meantime I will raise and interact with my child as I see fit. I will not cow to "traditional" norms and be a fucking douchebag tighty-whitey mom with teased bangs and a family goddamn van.

*sigh*

Went out tonight with a good friend, I should know I really only a few good friends. We saw Tricky perform tonight and it was brilliant. It was far better then I hoped for, not just the music but the crowd too. See I hate crowds. I'm totally put off by large groups of people but I know that if I'm going to go out and enjoy something I like then I have to put up with the masses.

Crap.

I'm just rambling at this point. I'm so tired. Up later then I've been in a long while. Polluting my brain with the Sex and the City movie.

If you are reading this thank you. And good night.

R.I.P Fergus McKenzie

I normally title my posts with lines from TV shows, movies, and songs, but today is different. Today is the first time in nearly 11 years I sit in my home totally and completely alone because the family dog died yesterday. I'm still of the mindset to check on Fergus when I go upstairs but you know, he's not there. No, he's not on the couch curled into a little fluffy, blonde ball. And he's not on the brown chair sprawled. And his not at my feet under the computer desk letting out noxious farts. Okay, I guess I can't honestly say I miss his farts, but I miss him damnit.

Fucking diabetes got the best of him and for the last several days his blood sugar has been dropping resulting in not eating, not peeing, and not doing anything but sleeping. Sunday night he had some shakes that I had never seen before and so Monday morning my mom called the vet and I dropped him off there around 9am. As I left work to catch a bus downtown to celebrate a birthday, my mom called to tell me she was going to the vet because in the best interest of the dog he was being put down.

Fergus was the ultimate super trooper dog. He survivied ACL surgery and gallstone surgery (that resulted in over 60 stones being removed) that left a 12 inch incision scar on his already wee belly. His internal sutures from the gallstone surgery tore out and he had to be opened up again, replacing the busted sutures with ones for dogs upwards to 100 pounds. Then his diabetes happened and he went blind practically over night. But NONE of this ever daunted the little guy from loving us simple humans. The mental and phsyical strength that dog had amazed me then and still amazes me today as I type this.

Fergus was not the first dog we've owned that has died, but it is the first time that we've had an animal put to sleep. Back in Arizona, when our dogs died I was never home for it and usually they just died of old age and just never woke up the next day. Being in the vet's office yesterday, with my mom, watching the vet gently tell us how it happens and then to watch it happen was quietly intense. I was overcome with so much sadness it really surprised me. I watched a family member die yesterday and it will forever stay with me.

Good night, sweet prince. Thank you for your love and protection.

"Bad guy can't win. It's a morality tale."

I took the child to a movie today. A movie's she been harrassing me to see for weeks, though it only started on Friday the 13th. Funny thing, the movie is of the same title as it's release date.

Yes, I took the child to see Friday the 13th. The dialogue wasn't totally inane, but there was a lot of boobs from the same people. It reminded me of an episode of XPlay when Adam Sessler's rattling off game titles he wants to see die. One game is about scantily clad, poorly animated women with robust breasts jumping around playing volley ball. The movie even had a scene of a topless girl water skiing, well boarding. The violence really was far less outrageous then I predicted and there was some humor that made me giggle even more so for its placement in a slasher film.

Prior to all this, we had lunch and bought cupcakes to have in the movies. When packaging up our said cupcakes, I asked the cupcake gal to box them individually so they would fit inside my purse better. And they did! Genius! So there we were, the child and I, sitting in the last row, noshing on tasty cupcakes watching a slasher flick. We whispered back and forth to each other about how one scene was from the first Friday the 13th, and how a character looked like another character from Part 2 in which he gets a machete in the head, oh and! Lookie here, this guy got it in the head too! HAHAHAHAHA! We had a blast!

And it was payday too!

"I was down on a frown when the messenger brought me a letter."

Sizzle Says has made my day! Yesterday she posted a list of ten things she loves that start with the letter R. She went on to describe some fabulous stuff and at the end she asked if anyone was up to the same challenge. Always wanting to be included as much as possible I went for it and Sizzle obliged! Yay us!

I got the letter N,which at first pleased me beyond the dog's tolerance for adult human giggling. But then I panicked. The letter N? Good grief!

Okay, I'm already over thinking this task because this morning upon waiting to get my morning stuff done (wake the child, feed the child, urge the child to get dressed, as well as feeding and clothing myself, make the child's lunch, take her to morning child care, dash back to work because I left with the cash box key last night) I started thinking of what to title my post, provided I was able to engage in the letter game. After I dropped McKenzie off and headed north on Market St. Neil Young came on the car stereo (I was driving my mom's car) and there you have my title. But was I going to play? YES! Thank you, Sizzle.

Ten things that start with the letter N that I love.

1. Neighborhood - I really enjoy the neighborhood we live in. It's close to the child's school and close to my work, just 20-25 minutes walking distance from downtown Ballard. The proximity to all things Seattle is very good, I'd even say we're centrally located, with easy access to 99. The house we rent is on a hillside so we have a fantastic view of the Olympic Mts.

2. Naan - Particularly the garlic naan, sometimes the spinach stuffed naan. But just in general naan. So light and fluffy yet hearty and warm. Such a good thing on its own too!

3. Naval - Specifically the child's belly button. She's got an outy inside in inny. It's so cute!

4. Nebulas - A totally sweet gathering of cosmic gases, proof the unverse is ever growing and evolving.

5. Noodles - Not pad thai noodles, no no, can't stand those, but linguini noodles fo' sho'! And Ramen noodles too. You can do a lot to a simple cup of noodles that transcends their ordinary purpose. Plus Ramen noodles come in a plethora of flavors and its cheap, which is good for this day and age.

6. Northwest - The pacific northwest has held a special place in my heart since first visiting my mom at Christmas in 1995. I stole away to Seattle from horrid, dreadful Tucson a few more times before I gave into the want and need to move here. I am SO glad my mom moved up here so I could follow. You get it all up here: rain, sun, wind, heat, chill, sea air, arid desserts. Everything! Plus I've met some fabulous people living up here who are like minded in that they are flexible, open-minded, easy going, yet smart and funny.

7. Number 9 - Myyyyy favorite and lucky number. In its purest form of just 9 this is a powerful by product of the magical number 3. Yet 19, 29, etc are just as awesome! I tend to pick numbers with 9 in the when I play lotteries. Not that this strategy has led me to a win but I like it. The Beatles song might have had something to do it with it. I'd listened to the White Album, on vinyl, a lot as a kid.

8. The Nightmare Before Christmas - This is such a brilliant and fantastic dark fairytale. Tim Burton is a child of gloominess and for that I shall always be a fan of his. To create such a lovely story about responsibility and finding yourself for a specific audience that can relate to being different moved me so when I first saw this movie 15 years ago.

9. Nerdist - Chris Hardwick is a funny, funny man. His posts are full of wit, vulgarities and violence. Okay, not so much violence but it sounded good when I typed it. I first caught Chris Hardwick on G4's Attack of the Show leading a Gadget Pron segment. He wore an argygle sweater vest with a tie. My geek heart swooned.

10. Netflix - It took me a long time to get on the bandwagon for this practical site. I'm not one to follow the hype on anything so it took a while for it to die down and then Netflix looked appealing. I am glad that I finally drank the Netflix kool aid. We've got In Bruges to watch tonight.

Okay, that was way harder then first thought of, but damn it was fun!